DeDe is getting remarried, and Manny convinces the family to take the train up to the wedding. Jay could not be more ecstatic that DeDe has moved on for good but his over enthusiasm might come back and bite him later. Claire and Mitchell work on their toast while Phil and Cameron geek out over their favorite author, who is also on the train. Luke and Manny go a little girl crazy; Gloria gets stuck in coach; and Alex gets caught up in the romance of the train herself.
Manny convinces the whole family to go to Portland in train to celebrate Dede's remarriage.
Jay is at first glad but finally admits that he misses her. Meanwhile, Gloria forgets her ticket while going to bathroom and remains stuck in an inferior level.
Luke and Alex meet potential lovers. Luke's is older than him and he thinks he will be flirt with her until she reveals that she teaches geography and just wanted to give him some lessons.
Alex falls in love with a guy who manipulates her and steals her wallet.
Manny, on the other side, try to seduces Alex. Mitchell and Claire write a toast for Dede and discuss her relationship with her new man, with Jay and Gloria.
Phil and Cameron meet their favourite polar author, Simon Hastings. They accidentally spoil his novel so they try to find a way to fix it and manage to.
(The characters striked out do not appear in this episode)
- Jay Pritchett
- Gloria Pritchett
- Manny Delgado
- Claire Dunphy
- Phil Dunphy
- Haley Dunphy
- Alex Dunphy
- Luke Dunphy
- Mitchell Pritchett
- Cameron Tucker
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett
- Shelley Long as DeDe Pritchett
- Simon Templeman as Simon Hastings
- Dominic Sherwood as James
- Lindsey Gort as Cindy
- Jay Johnston as Carl
- Sandra Purpuro as Donna
- Edward James Gage as Porter
- Fred Cross as Ticket Taker
- Mike Ostroski as Passenger
- Dede is wearing new glasses.
- Joe is absent.
- Dominic Sherwood (James) was Sarah Hyland's real life boyfriend at the time this episode was filmed.
- This episode broadcasted exactly five years after Good Cop Bad Dog
- With the exception of interview scenes, this entire episode takes place on the titular train.
- DeDe's first appearance since "Arrested" (Season 4).
- Alex reads Jane Eyre and Anna Karenina.
- Alex's adventures in the lower-class part of the train are a reference to Titanic.
- The title is referring to Ozzy Osbourne's most popular song, Crazy Train.