Fearful that the romance between him and Claire is fizzling out, Phil calls upon his alter ego, Clive Bixby, to get Valentine's Day back on track. Meanwhile, much to Gloria's chagrin, Jay shows a bit of child favoritism when he and Gloria must deal with Joe's inappropriate Valentine gift-giving and Manny's dating indecisiveness. When Cam and Mitch try to empower Lily, Haley, and Sal to stand up to the men in their lives, things go overboard. Alex discovers she has a secret admirer who may be a little too involved with family.
Phil feels that the romance between him and Claire is dissipating, especially with Claire’s new full-time job. He spends the whole day attempting to impress the seemingly-uninterested Claire, but just when he feels underwhelmed by her lack of appreciation, Claire reveals she learned magic to surprise him on Valentine’s Day.
Jay favours Joe, whom he observed has picked up a lot after him, much to Manny and Gloria's chagrin. But when he realises that Joe is adopting his bad habits as well, Jay finally puts his foot down with his son.
Mitchell and Cameron attempt to teach Lily, Sal, and Haley how to stand up for themselves against men who mistreat them. Things go wrong when Sal violently rebels against an unexpected breakup and Haley dumps Rainer over a misunderstanding.
Alex discovers that Ben from her mother’s workplace has a crush on her. Although weirded out at first, she gets turned on when he apologises, mentioning his personal and parental issues. The two end up having sex in his office.
(The characters striked out do not appear in this episode)
- Jay Pritchett
- Gloria Pritchett
- Manny Delgado
- Joe Pritchett
- Claire Dunphy
- Phil Dunphy
- Haley Dunphy
- Alex Dunphy
- Mitchell Pritchett
- Cameron Tucker
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett
- Nathan Fillion as Rainer Shine
- Elizabeth Banks as Sal
- Joe Mande as Ben
- Marsha Kramer as Margaret
- Julia Meltzer as Mrs. Kewley
- William Utay as The Great Majesto
- Darcy Donovan as Rainer's Date
- Rickey Wilson as Valet
- Susan Beaubian as Waitress
- Elliot Potts as Sammy
- Sal tries to burn Werner's stuff with vodka, but ordinary vodka generally won't burn anything—it needs to be at least 50-60% by volume (100-120 proof) for a match to ignite it.
- Luke does not appear in this episode.
- This episode was broadcasted exactly five years after Me? Jealous?.
- Sal returns for her fifth appearance, with her son Sammy.
- Clive Bixby returns, but Juliana does not.
- "Do You Believe in Magic" is a song by The Lovin' Spoonful.
- Werner has a relic from the Bismarck.
- Ben was addicted to SweeTarts, which permanently damaged his collagens and rendered him looking older than 26.
- Phil gets the Houdini handcuffs he wanted.
- On the back of the wooden swing Phil gave to Claire, to the right of "Phil ♡ Claire" there is "Free Tibet" carved into the swing.
- At one point Joe is seen sitting on the couch watching TV with his hand tucked into his waistband, a reference to Ed O'Neill's previous role as Al Bundy in Married... with Children.
- Season 8 Episode 15 title [via spoilertv This may be an episode. spoilertv is the only source to mention this.]