The adults are Vegas-bound when Jay hooks them up with Excelsior Level hotel accommodations courtesy of one of his big clients, but after learning there's an even higher level, Jay becomes obsessed with upgrading. Meanwhile, everyone's sneaking around when Claire secretly hits the tables to win back money she lost years ago, Phil goes underground auditioning for a secret society of magicians, Cam ducks out of a spa day with Mitch to join their friend's bachelor party shenanigans, and Gloria is determined to hide a female version of dog butler Barkley from Jay.
The family...the adults, anyway...headed to Las Vegas to stay at the Mandalay Bay (flying on Jet Blue...yes, it was advertising). Jay had created a series of luxury closets for their high-roller rooms and the chairman, Burt Tanner, gave them some comped rooms on the Excelsior level as a thank you. (JAY: Hey, luxury bathroom. It's me, lowly closet. Watch your back). Everybody was excited, as you may have guessed. Claire had a chance to win back the money she lost on a girl's weekend in Vegas that was earmarked for their 25th Anniversary with Phil, Phil had a chance to get into a secret society of magicians, and Mitchell had a chance to make amends with Langham, who Mitchell dumped over an email back in the day. Langham was marrying Tim and they were having a big-time bachelor party during the weekend. Tim gave Mitchell and Cameron an itinerary of the weekend. (CAMERON: Look at that. An actual gay agenda). And it would have helped Cam's distaste of The Kilty Pleasures all-male dance revue if he would stop staring at the poster.
Phil takes off to find the secret door to the secret magic society, feeling the guilt of Claire freezing him out. Or the guilt of thier private butler, Leslie Higgins, finding Phil's trick handcuffs and whip and immediately assuming the wrong thing. Claire was letting Phil think she was still mad at him so she could have her time to make back the money she lost, but he didn't know that. Claire wasn't doing so well...until Gloria showed up. Gloria needed to hide something in Claire's room: Rebarka the Doggy Maid. She saw it in a store window and knew Jay would buy it to go with Barkley the Doggy Butler if he ever saw it. She chose to purchase it and hide it, with the intention to return it before they left. (Gee, how could that possibly go wrong?). And she did...just as soon as Claire's good luck charm won back all the money she needed to.
CLAIRE: (showing Gloria the dice) Give these a blow, beautiful.
Mitch and Cam went to enjoy the spa. Well, Mitchell did. Cam enjoyed Tim and Langham's pool party and scored some Britney Spears tickets. Without Mitchell knowing it, but what happens in Vegas... Which Mitchell was glad about because Claire couldn't shake her gambling addiction but had no money to spend, so she convinced Mitchell to gamble for her. He started getting into it. And once Mitch sent her on her way and went on a hot streak, he really got into it. This was when Langham showed up and the two of them cleared the air. Mitchell thought he was getting lucky tonight. And when Langham saw Mitchell left his room key at the table, so did he.
It turns out Excelsior is not the top level at the Mandalay Bay. Jay got rooms for everybody on the 62nd Floor and there are 63 floors at the hotel. Jay was not a happy camper, but to prevent him seeing Rebarka, Gloria insisted he call Burt Tanner and complain. Which he did, so he needed Leslie the Butler to get him some scotch and cigars for his room. Which Leslie would do right after drawing both Phil and Mitchell a bath (separate baths...don't get any ideas), both of whom were hoping to get romantic. Langham certainly thought that, given Leslie let him into Mitchell's room assuming that's whom Mitchell was meeting.
LESLIE: I believe that's the plan.
Leslie heads over to Phil's room and Phil asks him how Claire seems, if she was mad. One tiny problem: Leslie never saw Claire but did see Rebarka and his opinion of Phil really hadn't improved as a result. Meanwhile, Cameron arrives and Mitchell tells him he has a big surprise for the two. Mitchell figured Cam was so uptight and keyed up, so they needed to do something together...or with a third party as Cam discovered to his horror. By the way, Mitchell STILL didn't know Langham was in the bathtub. Finally, Mitchell goes in there.
LANGHAM: Both of you?!? Well, OK.
Now if you think it wasn't awkward enough, Claire comes in, figuring Cam and Mitchell were fighting over Mitch's gambling, but clearly she was way off when she saw Langham. And then Tim (who has trust issues, natch) comes pounding on the door. They shove Langham into Gloria and Jay's adjoining room. Jay, thinking it's Burt Tanner because he never met the man face-to-face, wants a taste of his life. Gloria, only in a towel, explains it isn't Burt, and Langham hides from Tim (again) by going into Phil and Claire's room. Phil discovers Leslie giving a dirty martini to Rebarka the Doggy Maid and didn't know what was going on. Langham entering the room didn't clear things up for Phil, but now Leslie had caught on.
Gloria had to go borrow some hair products from Claire but got her towel caught in the adjoining doors. She managed to leap into the closet right before Bucky, one of the society members, stopped by to see Phil's trick, which he had to stop when Claire wasn't answering her phone earlier. He hid Rebarka in the closet so he could perform his trick. The trick was to handcuff Phil and tie him in a burlap sack. He frees himself and is wearing a tuxedo. Bucky wasn't particularly impressed because he had seen it before. But Phil had more to it, including a fireworks flourish that resulted in Gloria coming out of the closet wearing Rebarka's uniform. Bucky loved it.
Jay finally met up with Burt Tanner, to whom he was explaining how he liked the finer things in life. Like what was knocking on the door: Gloria in the maid's outfit. And then Jay's scotch delivery arrived...wearing only their kilts. Claire meant those for Mitchell and Cameron and they went to the wrong room. But that was good enough for Tanner: he gave Jay the black card for the 63rd Floor.
LESLIE: Reminds me of my late grandfather.
PHIL: He was Scottish?
LESLIE: No, a stripper.
Jay enjoyed the in-room shave (from Bucky, who was a shaving butler on the Excelsior-Plus level) and couldn't wait to try the private lap pool. Unfortunately, the harpist couldn't be hired. That was only for the Excelsior-Ultra level.
JAY: (counting the floors) 62...63...64...son of a bitch!
(The characters striked out do not appear in this episode)
- Jay Pritchett
- Gloria Pritchett
- Claire Dunphy
- Phil Dunphy
- Mitchell Pritchett
- Cameron Tucker
- Stephen Merchant as Leslie Higgins
- Fred Armisen as Langham
- Patton Oswalt as Ducky
- Jeffrey Nicholas Brown as Tim
- Ed Alonzo as Kaiser Mayhem
- Elaine Carroll as Female Magician
- Ray Laska as Burt Tanner
- Terrell Lee as Security Guard
- Glenn Aldrich as Croupier
- Dominic Calandra as Harry
- Michelle McCoy as Harry's Girlfriend
- Kim Renee as Blackjack Dealer
- Nikki Gigiorgio as Masseuse #1
- Ivy Lee as Masseuse #2
- Gloria finds a female version of Barkley, as to Jay bought Barkley in Las Vegas.
- Phil's interest for magic reppears from "Up All Night" and "The Butler's Escape".
- Haley, Alex, Luke, Manny, Joe and Lily make no appearance in this episode. So far, this is the only episode to feature only the parents.
- Gloria asks How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?.
- Leslie recommends Phil the "Michael Bublé bath".
- When the "Kilty Pleasures" start dancing at Jay's room, the Scottish song "Scotland the Brave" plays.