With the baby coming soon, Jay and Gloria go to great lengths to throw Manny an extra special surprise party for his 14th birthday—and there are plenty of surprises to go around. Meanwhile, Phil and Claire deal with a new much older guy that Haley has started hanging out with, and Cam becomes jealous of the special bond Lily seems to have with Mitch.
It's Manny's 14th birthday, and Jay and Gloria are planning a huge surprise party for him, given it'll be the last one where he's an only child. After giving him the brush-off regarding their plans for that night (Jay loves to fool "the little jerk"), they have to pick up everything, including the cake. But since they didn't have time to wait in the huge line at the cake shop, they scam a new mom out of her cake.
Haley will meet the rest of the family at the Pritchett abode, one hour later than they were told, according to Claire, since she is going out a date with one of her co-workers at the clothing store, Kenny, who is Phil's age. A wicked ponytail and beard and custom jeans for him and Claire (PHIL: It feels like I'm wearing a diaper!) are enough to get him to look the other way. Claire accuses Phil of being okay with barely-legal Haley dating a much older man, given Phil's crush on Hermione Granger (Emma Watson). Phil angrily declares that he is "never telling [[Luke] |Luke]] anything again".
Lily is going through a marriage phase, where she wants to have a wedding and marry her daddy. Sure enough, she takes Mitchell to a mock altar all dressed up with wedding rings. Cameron is clearly unhappy, which Mitchell attributes to the belief that he is struggling as a music teacher while Mitchell is doing well at his law firm. Cameron holds to tradition and throws rice (rice krispies) to the happy couple, getting Lily in her eye with one. Later, Cameron holds a wedding of his own after he bribed Lily with a Barbie electric car and other luxuries. He gets through the ceremony quickly and goes to the reception line while Lily drives through it and crashes. (CAMERON: Please do not blame me. We always knew there would be a strong possibility she'd be a terrible driver.)
While the very late Jay and Gloria crashed out of the parking lot because they lost their ticket, everybody set up for the party at the house, except for Luke who filmed the whole thing and kept harassing Lily, who was now sporting a neck brace to go with her eyepatch. Phil still couldn't see anything wrong with Haley going out with a "mentor."
PHIL: When I was 17, I was really close with my friend, Stacy's mom. Mrs. Robinson was a former cheerleader, so she knew just how to massage my legs after practice. She had her own homemade Ben-Gay that didn't burn, no matter where she rubbed it on me. If I had a chance to go over there, I'd never miss an opportunity.
CLAIRE: I think maybe you did.
Phil was still fine with Haley's choice of dates until he saw Kenny kissing Haley. Angrily, he wants to stop the relationship. (PHIL: I'm gonna fight him up real nice.) Claire was dying to see this, until Mitchell reminded her she dated a guy that old just to get a rise out of Jay, only he didn't say a word because he knew Claire would dump a guy who smelled like potato skins and said "supposably", in no time at all. Claire went to stop Phil, saying Haley was doing this to get back at them. Phil is heavily conflicted, particularly when Kenny says "nailed it" coming out of the bathroom and demands a high-five.
Mitchell confronts Cameron about the problems he was going through at school, but apparently the kids like him. Certainly the ones at Manny's party who serenaded him do. (CAMERON: Yeah, it's been a nightmare. Thank you for assuming I'm terrible at my job.) It turns out, Cameron was enjoying his job so much, he forgot his tradition of dunking a cookie in milk with Lily every day at 2:30. He was not happy about it, to say the least, and he thinks Lily is resenting him for it. But Mitch reminded him Lily isn't a character on Dynasty and doesn't resent him. When Cameron moves a chaise to pick up a towel and accidentally sends Lily into the pool, she might then. But as Luke's tape proved, Lily calls Mitchell "Dad" and she cried out for "Daddy," what she calls Cameron. So he was happy again.
Jay and Gloria finally make it there, and Gloria goes over the plan to surprise Manny by turning the lights out and singing when he turns them on. Alex needs to write it down (sarcasm), but Manny got there earlier than planned. Manny enters with a female friend, who kisses him as an early birthday present. She turns the lights on and lets out a shriek, which Manny believes is due to a shriek. (MANNY: It's harsh, I know! I wanted to put in a better dimmer.) Seeing the family, she runs for the hills, and Manny was completely incensed for ruining his first kiss. Luke mockingly assures him that he caught it all on tape. Gloria tries to talk to him, but Manny runs to his room. Gloria's baby is ready to come out, but she tries to hold it because she feels bad about Manny having to share her; now he might have to share a birthday as well. Jay tries to talk to Manny, saying at least Manny can prove he kissed a girl. Kenny certainly wasn't ingratiating himself to Claire or Phil, even admitting he acted more like a 14-year-old than Manny did. He even had a daughter that age. Phil resisting the urge to clip his ponytail with garden shears for running Haley's hand up his leg, Claire tries to keep him at bay. Gloria gets everybody to sing Happy Birthday to Manny, who has finally come out of his room, just in time to see Gloria's water break. She refused to leave, forcing Jay to drag her to the car apologizing to Manny the whole way.
Everybody else makes it to the hospital in time to hear what they think is Gloria screaming. It turns out to be from Jay, who was holding Gloria's hand. Gloria was still trying to keep the baby inside until the following day, but Manny told her he had her to himself for 14 years. (JAY: If we had actually forgotten his birthday, he'd be out kissing a cute brunette. Things work out!) Manny knew Gloria loved him and took her hand...and understood why Jay was screaming like a little girl. After Jay assures Gloria how much he loves her, Gloria wants the baby out. Meanwhile in the lobby, Phil cannot stand Kenny and Haley's relationship any longer. (Seriously, he was massaging her thigh. I gotta side with Phil on this one.) Claire sticks to it, even giving Haley and Kenny their credit card for dinner at a remote location and a hotel. Phil was being driven mad by this game of chicken Claire was playing (and she was wrong about the iPod), so he goes after them. Immediately after he leaves, Haley returned and freaked out at Claire for letting her get that far with Kenny. She was convinced Phil and her just thought of her as nothing but a disappointment.
HALEY: I see the look on his face every day. He acts as if he doesn't want me around!
PHIL: (returning in the other elevator and not seeing Haley) Give me the ticket. I'm going after her. This little 'chicken' game may work for your dad but it doesn't work for me! That's my little girl! I need her to know that no guy on Earth is good enough for her, much less a slimy middle-aged jeans salesman! (Haley hugs him) What's this?
CLAIRE: Just enjoy it.
As for Jay and Gloria...
JAY: There's all kinds of milestones in life. The kind you expect to live through...first kiss, birthdays, graduations, if you're lucky a wedding or two, or even a new addition to the family. And then there's the kind you never dream you'd get to live through again.
The whole family enters Gloria's ward to find she has given birth to her and Jay's son, and everybody is very pleased with the newborn baby, they all smile and fawn over him.
JAY (same interview): And that's the best kind of all. (A baby fuss sound is heard) (to his newborn son) Why am I spoiling it for you? You'll see for yourself.
Gloria is seen cradling her newborn son, saying it was the most painful 20 minutes of her life, much to Claire's disappointment, to say nothing about her being skinny already. While the family debates on their relation to him, Jay ushers them out.
- Jason Mantzoukas as Kenny
- Tim Banning as Bakery Employee
- Bill Coelius as Parking Attendant
- Krystal Gauvin as Manny's Girlfriend
- Jamie Anderson as Mom
- Karen McClain as Nurse
- Laurel Coddington as Cameron's Student
- Destinie Dominguez as Cameron's Student
- Josiah Dominguez as Cameron's Student
- Chloe Okura as Cameron's Student
- Chris Shen as Cameron's Student
- Julian Xavier as Cameron's Student
- Gloria finally gives birth a baby, after revealing that she was pregnant in "Baby on Board".
- This is the second episode to revolve around Manny's birthday, after "Manny Get Your Gun".
- Jay's closing monolog flashes back to:
- Gloria gives birth to a boy.
- Manny shares his first kiss.
- Claire claims that Phil is attracted to Emma Watson, who plays Hermione in the Harry Potter films.
- Phil references Mrs. Robinson and the song "Stacy's Mom" when talking about older boyfriends.
- Mitch points out that Lilly is not a Dynasty character.
- Phil says Claire was wrong about the iPod being a failure, and that he doesn't want to talk about her favorite planet, Pluto, which lost planet status in 2006, and corrects her pronunciation of Demi Moore's name.